It's not food. It's jamón!

Menestra de Verduras (La Rioja)

actually kinda proud of how she looks

Oh easy peasy a veg stew. Right?

WRONG!

I have never made anything so complicated in my life (Russell concurs, and would also like me to make clear that he is contributing significant labor to this project).

First of all, this was the grocery list:

1. Judías verdes redondas (green beans)

2. Guisantes frescos (fresh peas - glass bottle)

3. Habas frescas (fresh broad beans - glass bottle)

4. Pencas de acelga (chard stalks)

5. Jamón serrano (serrano ham)

6. Alcochofas (artichokes)

7. Espárragos blancos (white asparagus)

8. Huevos (eggs)

9. Borrajas (another chard-type thing)

10. Ajo (garlic)

11. Zanahorias (carrots)

12. Patatas (potato)

13. Brócoli (broccoli)

14. Harina (flour)

15. Bread crumbs

Among the many problems here, is the fact that all of these vegetables have drastically different cook times. And they were all to be prepared in slightly different ways. 

I couldn’t find white asparagus raw, so I ended up just getting a bottle of it. Which turned out to be a great thing because we were supposed to start this marathon with a 40 minute cook of the white asparagus. So we got to skip that.

Everything else we had to do. So here we go.

buckle up because it's messy

The artichokes (a ridiculous food) and broccoli got chopped and tossed into a pot to steam/boil. Then the carrots and potatoes got pealed, diced, and put into a different pot. We removed the broccoli and artichokes, reserving some of the water, and set them out to dry. The beans, peas, etc. got put into yet another pot to cook. Once everything is cooked, you drain them all of their water and set aside. Then, in an empty pot, you fry up the jamón and garlic, and then put in some flour that will thicken things later on. Throw in the potatoes, pea mix, and carrots - and let them all talk amongst themselves. 

While they’re doing their thing, you coat the artichokes and broccoli in egg and bread crumbs and fry them. Which you have to do in 2 batches because there is SO MUCH.

When the artichokes and broccoli are done, you put them into the pot to fraternize with the ham and veggies that are already there. Also, drain and add in the asparagus from the jar that you pre-bought because you’re smart like that.

THEN, you need to soft boil some eggs.

And, because I love pain, I also made some brown rice. 

You bored yet? Zoned out? Totally normal because that was a long and winding mess. It took us 2 hours, maybe more.

We entered a twilight zone. 

Time became meaningless.

And we did it on a weeknight because I didn’t bother to read the recipe beforehand.

ALL THAT BEING SAID!

It was fucking delicious. Like, really really good. Without the jamón I think it might have been gross.

But with the jamón?

It was a marriage of a million vegetables with savory, salty, tender meat. The potatoes and flour thickener coated everything with the starch and fat. I love peas in all conditions, but they really shined here. The carrots added sweetness. This was peak vegetable. The pinnacle of plant diversity. She is an all-around good-time-gal.